Rambles of my mind

Walk With Me

This morning I woke up and felt a calling to be in nature so I dragged my son and his daughter in law out with me as they are my walking buddies and love walking like I do.

It was so fresh out it wasn’t to hot or too cold it was just right to be out walking although there was rain in the air it just felt so nice and fresh.

The woods are about half hour walk from my house and once your in it it’s so beautiful as you can hear the birds and bees.

I felt privileged today as we got to see a bee just chilling and on the way home we got to see two deers running across the field which was so magical.

On our travels we see three hornets attacking a butterfly and some bugs that live under trees and we got to see the cows too.

Each walk is always different you see or hear different things each time but I alway come home feeling so grounded and grateful.

Law Of Attraction

Something I have learnt over the past 9 years is that our thoughts create our future, yes I know a lot of people don’t believe that but I am proof this is possible.

9 years ago I suffered with badly with my depression and anxiety and most days I didn’t even leave my room and my boys hardly ever see me because I would hide away from the world.

Today is such a different story as I no longer hide away in my room and I am able to be a mum to my boys who are now adults, my family comment on how much I have changed for the better.

I use to pick my face so badly that I always had red sores all over it, it was because I was always anxious so picking was my vent.

One day I had enough I would look in the mirror each day and hate the reflection staring back at me I was disgusted with myself so I decided enough and was enough.

I started off with affirmations, I had so many books that I would write in daily and would write from top to the bottom with the same affirmations over and over again.

My affirmation was “I am no longer pick my face” I wrote this for days on end and after about a month not realising it I had stopped picking.

My husband actually mention that my face looked so clear and asked what I had been using that’s when I realised my positive thoughts were working.

Since then I used affirmations for everything and then I found a YouTube video that talked about journaling on how you want your life to look.

So I started to journal and write as if it had already happened and my life since then has become abundant in all areas and I now feel happy.

If you feeling like your in a bad place buy a journal and start writing positive affirmations I promise you it works.

Today has been a good day for me I have felt so positive and happy, I said to hubby how grateful I felt today and he asked why and my reply was, because I have you for an amazing husband, I have 3 handsome sons and I feel abundant in all areas of my life right now.

Today has been one of those days where I realise how lucky I truly am to have some wonderful people in my life and I have good food in my belly and fresh drinking water and most importantly I have a roof over my head.

We as human beings never look at the things we have and realise how grateful we are, we don’t realise how many people don’t have all that we have and that makes me sad but at the same time very grateful.

So today I was to express my gratitude to all the beautiful things in my life.

Bees

So a few years back we brought one of these plants and it got so big over the years and attracted sooo many different types of bees it was beautiful to sit and watch each bee buzzing around it.

Sadly last years frost killed it off and I was gutted as I was sitting outside yesterday and bees kept flying past me and hovering over where the plant use to be so I decided to go get a new one.

I ended up finding the red one and a purple one and they are now where the old one use to be and already the bees are loving it.

I can’t wait till they grow huge and I can sit and listen to the busy bees ❤

Marriage

Me and my husband have been together 21 years and married 16 this year and my god have we had our ups and downs but I see now marriage is not all about love and romance it’s about the highs and lows.

I look around me and people just give up too quickly on relationships these days it’s not like it use to be, one little argument and that’s it they leave that person and move on.

There were many of times I wanted to give up on my relationship, when my husband spoke to me like shit and when he feel in love with the girl we had a threesome with and when he said he never loved me.

But I stuck with it because for me marriage was for life for me and even tho my husband was a arsehole I still loved him and we still had kids to bring up, I didn’t want my kids to be brought up in a broken home like I was.

Things have changed so much over the past 9 years and our relationship has become so much stronger and I know he loves me now by his actions, we have both grown up and realised how much we actually mean to each other and that we could never be without each other now.

Marriage needs to be worked on it’s not easy but it’s worth it!

Not Knowing

Today I spoke with my dad on the phone, I don’t get to see him a lot as he lives about an hour away from me but we always keep in contact and I do go see him from time to time but we both have busy lives.

So we are having our normal conversations as we do and I was saying how we had to go Southampton the other day and he says oh I use to live In Southampton I was like really he said yeah and Birmingham and I lived in Guernsey as well at one time.

I was actually shocked and it made me realise that I don’t know much about my dads life really, we have never really had that father daughter bond so he never told me things his done.

I know some things like his Irish and he came over here when he was 15 and went straight into work as a painter and decorator but that’s really all I know.

It’s just made me realise how much I don’t know about my dad and wonder what stories he would have for me if we had the chance to sit down and chat.

My Birthday

So here I am level 43 wow I didn’t think I would of made it this far in my life a few years ago, each day was hard for me because I was in such a dark place.

It’s been a hard but interesting road where I have learnt so much and been through so much but I came out the other side stronger and wiser.

I use to love celebrating my birthday but as I got older I realised I didn’t want to celebrate another year of old age, to me it just a number it’s nothing special.

I don’t get any cards as I think they are a waste of money and I didn’t ask for any presents either.

For me it’s just another day, another year…

Out & About 2021

So although it’s really hot day today i decided to join my eldest on a walk with his fiancé and my youngest son.

We spent most of our lockdown out and about walking for miles in all weathers as you see in the pictures.

I love walking in nature it’s so therapeutic, one day we walked for 16 miles I didn’t even think my legs would get me back home I was exhausted but I did it.

We see some beautiful things and today we see some deer run right in front of us which was amazing, and we had to walk through loads of cows and sheep.

We also climbed a tree that had fallen but still wanted to grow and took some pics, I feel as I get older I am getting braver and do things to push myself through my fears.

Nature has so much to offer and some beautiful things but we just need to open our eyes and see the beauty around us, we need to enjoy life while we can as no one gets out alive.

One Of Those Days

The house needs a good clean and I am trying to get things done but in between having a rest.

I have managed to clean the bathroom which probably took me a couple of hours (don’t judge me) lol.

I do have the rest of the house to do and even tho 5 others live here everything is always left for me to do “sigh”.

Anyways…

Now I’m sitting and resting on my bed and thinking about the holidays that I have coming up and I’m getting excited.

No matter what we have to do in our lives we should always take time to appreciate life.

Be grateful for what’s happened, what’s happening and what’s about to happen and you life will get better.

Old Souls (Poem)

Our lips touched and a fire ignited in the souls of our desire.

A passion a need to be within the skins of each a knowing a need.

Letting our walls fall to the ground with each kiss and touch.

Eye meeting not only once but in many life times.

Over and over again we meet but never get it right.

Till our souls meet in another life I will always keep your soul close to mine.